Flattering To Deceive (Possibly): An Everton Story

So that was a lovely Summer break. Anything much happen?

Well it seems that we started spending loads of money on players we’d barely heard of, plus a couple of young up and coming English players. Then we sold Lukaku but that was okay because we had all these great new players. Then we started playing football and everyone realised that things might take a little while to get the team to gel.

Or the players that we’ve bought are utter tripe. Either or.

Of course the truth is probably somewhere in the middle. One thing that is certain is that Koeman hasn’t quite got his head around the type of team he wants us to be. The excuse about ‘not having the players to fit his system’ isn’t going to stick any more. Especially when he leaves frighteningly quick players like Lookman on the bench. I even heard that little Ademola might even be going on loan to Derby County? What the..?!?

From the games we’ve seen so far it might be that players aren’t fit enough just yet and that it’ll all come together against Stoke. It might be that the players aren’t quite bfit enough to make space, and that’s why the midfielders have to pass it back to the defence every few minutes as opposed to bursting forward and creating chances. Let’s hope that’s it. So far we seem to be about as fluent and positive as the Hope and Glory PR team (although they seem to give refunds for poor performance which Everton might need to consider soon).

What do we think of Rooney so far? Well he scored two great goals in pre-season and then proceeded to tumble onto his backside every time he was presented with the ball in the box since. Sandro too seems to play like he had roller skates on so far apart from a good goal against Sevilla. I’m sure it’s just a matter of time until they get used to the pace of the Premier League. I’M TRYING TO BE POSITIVE!

Actually positive thoughts – what a keeper Pickford could be for us. Commanding his area, shouting at people. Love it. Keane should be decent too. And the kids still look alright if they are given the right chances.

Anyway, Stoke up first this week. They managed to snot us 4-3 at home last season in what was a very weird game and now we have a decent keeper you’d like to think we’d at least keep them down to three goals. Weirdly it is a must-win game ahead of games against the Sky Super Teams in Man City, Chelsea, Spurs and Man United. Horrible run of games that, especially with the games in the Europa League squeezed in between them.

Can only hope that by the time we play anyone decent that Sigurdsson finally gets on board. No idea why we’ve decided to haggle at the £45m mark. Perhaps it’s not just a straight cash deal and they don’t like the staggered payments or anything? I have no clue, let’s be honest. Hopefully we can just pay whatever is necessary and spend the rest of the Lukaku cash on a big centre forward.

Who’s that big fella who used to play for Man City? Now at Roma? Misses really easy chances occasionally but scores ace goals once in a while? Anyway, him.


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